These Dreams Go On When I Close My Eyes

I kind of slept like shit last night. I had weird vivid dreams and tossed and turned all night. Maybe it's because I'm a human piece of trash and ate McDonalds late...maybe it's because it was hot as fuck..if you haven't heard, it's triple digits in Idaho and I bought a house without central air. FuckMyLife.

I had a dream that I was at a 90's style pizza and skate joint. A person who causes me a lot of fucking stress and anger showed up. My initial response was to kick their ass all the way into 3018 but when we stood face to face I said 'hi' and I talked to them as normal as anyone could talk to a methed out junkie. Most of the details are another story for another day...

Anyway:

Yesterday I wrote a piece about my controversial and perhaps shitty feelings towards drug addicts. I chose not to post it because it genuinely made me feel like a dirty piece of shit.

It made me feel guilty. In my dream I felt the same rage I feel most days in real life. Then we spoke to each other and I just couldn't say what I wanted to say. I was nice, and that made me feel almost as gross as the words I hid in my blue notebook yesterday afternoon. 

I keep thinking that it has to have some sort of deeper meaning or symbolism. I'm kind of a hippie when it comes to dream interpretation. Our brains are fucking wild and I think the subconscious can tell us a lot about what we're actually feeling or trying to process, like all those dreams I've had about my teeth falling out when I'm especially anxious. Maybe I had this dream because I'm genuinely afraid that I have some sort of empathy towards this person, and I really don't want to.

All of my dreams last night were stressful.

I dreamed that I was walking Rolly around a city I've seen in a dream before. It's somewhat similar to the hilly parts of Seattle, combined with the dark, historic vibe of Astoria. As I walk him, people keep approaching us and try to touch him without permission, which makes him uncomfortable. The more we walk, the more distractions we have, including numerous fucking off leash dogs. If you know my dog, you know that's my personal hell. The dream felt like it lasted for hours, just walking around a city trying to keep my dog from going after these overly friendly Lassie fucks. 

I don't think that dream really has any deeper meaning. My dog has just been a big turd burglar outside since new neighbors moved in with their somewhat reactive dogs. At least I only have to sit here and try to decode one dream right? #positivethoughts

At least Rolly is cute...
Cheers

-Chels