Damn Near 30 Years As Queen Shit Of Turd Island

I turn 30 in just under two months. It's a milestone that always felt 'too far' to really think about, yet it has scared the shit out of me since I was old enough to think about growing up.

Level 29 of my life has been, by FAR, the most exhausting and the most fucking peculiar. 

I'm not sure exactly where to start but in February of this year I found out about my best friend relapsing. I stepped in to help her children, but she is gone. She's not who she used to be, and probably will never be, and that's been a real fucking bummer to process. Being around children though, has changed me and brought growth that I needed, but wasn't ready for. I wouldn't change it, but it's been intense for me.

Brandon is in a band with someone we've been fans of for awhile. They're going to Little Rock to play at the end of November. It's really fucking wild when I think about it, but it happened so organically and has made me appreciate the weirdness of the world a little bit more. They met randomly in a park. Now we're here.

Their music also makes me want to dance, and I don't fucking dance. 

I've been working with a friend who does energy healing. It's been successful and I'm  grateful and stoked to be part of it. It's been rad to force myself to learn more about video editing and social media work. 

We started a tee shirt business that got a bit of attention, then got fucked up, then put on hold.

I learned photoshop.
I lived a year without Tom Petty.
I exposed my original hardwoods.

It has been feast or fucking famine.

And maybe #thisis30, but I feel older. Not necessarily in a bad way.

I've really grown as a person. I'm different. More introverted, a little less pissed off at the world. It's taken 15 years and a lot of hard lessons to lost my teen angst. 


I've learned to use my obsessive habits and compulsive tendencies for the greater good through nostalgic art. I've learned that I never really lacked drive, just inspiration.

I started this blog because I had gotten so fucking anxious and writing helped me. I can connect and show vulnerably in a way I still can't do out loud.

2018 has been a wild fucking ride, and it's not over yet. I can't wait to see what my 30's bring, but I do hope they're a little more fucking chill. 

Thanks for sticking it out with me pals. I ain't dead yet, and this kid's alright.
YOLO, or something like that.

Cheers.
Chels-